DREAM POSSESSIONS PT. 1

As an avid etsy/Pinterest/polyvore/etc user, there’s a lot of random, weird and wonderful, bizarro shit I would ideally like to own. Every month or week (undecided as of yet), im going to conduct a blog sect titled Dream Possessions, consisting of ten awesome (and slightly, maybe, in some cases off-colour) finds on my wish list(s) – believe me, there’s many.

1. Charles Manson teapot

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is this in bad taste? I dunno, but as a teen my fascination with Charles Manson began, escalating to the point where I changed my last name on facebook to ‘Manson’ some point in 2011 (‘Charlie Manson? geddit? Is that in bad taste? probably). But anyway, this teapot, to me, is kind of painfully desirable. waahhh.

2. Preserved Mummified Fetal Bat

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If you follow me on Twitter, you’ll know I’ve been scouring the nooks and crannies of the internet (why can’t I just live in LA?!?! ‘necromance’ on melrose ave. anyone?) looking for a taxidermy bat. Originally I was very set on only etymology (a bat skeleton), because bat bone placement – especially their wings, is so pretty and intricate. But I came across this on etsy and think it’s stunning. Plus I love the ornate dome it comes in.

3. Jesus-on-a-crucifix-in-a-snowglobe-thing

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I’m not religious whatsoever, but when it comes to religious figurines I really, really love them. I want all the life-sized wax figurines in the chapel at the end of Romeo & Juliet (1996) in my house. I think they’re really unnerving, which is why I’m drawn to them (go figure). Anyway, this snow globe, when you shake it, fills with red glitter to exemplify the blood of Jesus Christ. COOL.

4. Coffin bookcase

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I’m really surprised I don’t already own a coffin-shaped book case. I’m even more surprised my mum doesn’t own one… This would be an edgy addition to any household, and as the picture depicts, you don’t just necessarily have to fill it with books – look at all the cute curiosities this bookshelf is displaying (i see you, ‘Rose’ portrait by Mark Ryden!).

5. Dali melting clock

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Okay, this is really really cool. I definitely need to get one. Salvador Dali is one of, if not maybe, my favourite visual artist of all time. At first glance I initially thought this was just a display thing, but nope, it’s an actual fully-functioning clock. Why is this not in my life already? I must own it. I think when I’ve published this blog post I’m going to hunt it down online and buy.

6. Constellation globe

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If you know me in real life, (which I’m presuming you don’t, so you’ll have to trust me on this one), you’d know how obsessed I am with astrology. I’m a bit horoscope mad (thanks mum). Anyway, so, naturally when I saw this, I felt an instinctive ‘it must be mine’ course through my veins. I think this is, or was, available at Urban Outfitters…of all places.

7. Gun hairdryer

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I like anything quirky, and this would just immediately add +270 pts to anyone’s ‘quirk’ factor. It just beats a normal generic hair dryer, doesn’t it? It’s just… Cool. Anyone who own this is a bona fide cool person.

8. Lips and tongue telephone

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It was between this and a Kit Cat Clock for the #8 spot, but since I just ordered a Kit Cat Clock a few days ago, I thought that was pretty void to appear on a ‘dream possessions’ list. This phone is covered in glitter and reminds me of some Club Kid, Rolling Stones, Rocky Horror hybrid. I also want a burger phone (like Juno has) maybe even more so than this, now I come to think about it…

9. Addams Family cards

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Collecting and hoarding cards (picture cards, playing cards, tarot cards, etc) is something I can definitely envisage myself doing. I’ve ‘pinned’ and ‘liked’ a shit ton of cards of all variations; everything from Halloween-themed playing cards, to actual antique tarot cards from the 1850’s, to these vintage Addams Family playing cards. I carry a (regular) deck of cards with me in my bag everywhere I go, because, well, you can never be bored with cards. It’s literally impossible.

10. Frida Kahlo cushions

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I’m a self-professed Art nerd, and Frida Kahlo is in my top 10 favourite artists. I have Frida Kahlo books taking up a good space of my room, a framed Frida Kahlo picture on my window sill, ‘Saint Frida’ styled candles, and even a Frida Kahlo phone case. I love not only the subject on these cushions, but the style and vibrancy of them. So pretty.

Andy Warhol was right

In the future, everyone will be world-famous for fifteen minutes.

Everyone’s heard about ‘Tampon Girl’ by now, right? (If you haven’t — here’s a link)

So when I first heard this story, it conjured up images of the infamous Donita Sparks’ incident at Reading festival in 1992, but if I remember correctly, Donita’s excuse for what she did was not “cause it was a dare, and i wanted to get famous!” (yes, seriously):

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I can’t quite find the words to describe how I feel about this… sad? perplexed? confused? The fact she sucked blood from her own tampon doesn’t even shock me – realistically, it’s really not that disgusting in my opinion; there are far worse things on the internet.

No, the truly repugnant thing for me in all of this, was that this girl’s honest idea of ‘fame’ is, in truth, infamy. We live in a time where ‘fame’ is not necessarily always accompanied with talent, hard work, or distinctive greatness — instead, it’s measured by how many Twitter followers, YouTube views, or how much notoriety on a reality TV show you have.

Anyway:

Dear Giovanna, the backlash of this video, and the consequence of your actions will only come back to haunt you. What you don’t understand is how detrimental this could be to you later on. Enjoy your fifteen minutes of fame, but from me to you: forget about the internet for a while. Go to school, work hard, find a hobby, and strive for becoming famous for something truly important and relevant to the world. Peace.

“Virgin School”

Okay, so I just got done watching a cringe-worthy documentary called “Virgin School” which showcased on channel 4 during mid-2007. I know that was five years ago, and it’s sort of irrelevant, but I just had to make a post about it… I don’t know whether I’m touched, amused, or horrified…

The programme follows painfully shy and insecure James Riley, a 26-year-old with no sexual experience whatsoever, as he takes a sexuality course at The Aquarion School for Love and Leadership (aka ‘virgin school’) in Amsterdam (duh, where else?). Over the course of 45 minute show, we watch as James get coached by a small group of three female fifty-something-year-old new age therapists – one of whom is a prostitute and gets to pop James’ cherry at the end of the programme.

On one hand, I found this show completely cringe-worthy. There’s something really wrong in watching someone peer into the ladyparts of their significantly older therapist in attempt to learn about female anatomy. What about the part where he’s being rubbed down in the shower to become comfortable with physical intimacy? Or how about when he’s encouraged to perform a ‘sexy dance’ to increase his self confidence and low self-esteem? (shown below)

I can literally feel the awkwardness radiating through the computer screen…

On the other hand, the brutally honest assessment of James’ own life makes it clear how emotionally crippled his lack of experience had made him; he says he felt “isolated” and “like an outcast”. It’s obvious that the experience (however ridiculous and outrageous viewers initially found it) worked wonders for him and really impacted his life; watching his growing confidence, and his eventual understanding and acceptance of his own sexuality is really quite touching.

It’s also really refreshing to see older women portrayed as being so open and comfortable with their own bodies.

5 years on, James has a steady girlfriend and states;

“It made me a stronger person. When I look at the person in the documentary he’s like a stranger to me now – that’s who I used to be.”

You can watch the show on YouTube hereWarning: It’s definitely NSFW.